life balance – Nature's Path

After Christmas: Let Boxing Day be different

My mind is not noisy with desires…

And my heart has satisfied its longing. Psalm 131

As I write this, deep snow has settled on the evening of December 25^th. The Christmas shopping ritual has just ended. On my car radio, among the tinny carols, I hear Van Morrison repeat a phrase from Poetic Champions Compose: non-attachment, non-attachment.

For those of us like me, who overspent again this year, and felt retail’s hollow afterthought where our spirit should have been, the song rings like an anthem for 2017. Non-attachment is currently best known as a Zen way of thinking about the world without clinging to it, nor to our position in it. Yet the above Psalm, quoted by Muslim, Jewish and Christian holy men, reveals that the idea of non-attachment continues in many other spiritual traditions.

As I quietly step in, brush off the snow and hang up my coat, I find solace in the silence. Perhaps it’s not too late to find a new path for the holidays. I live five minutes from a supermall, and the thought of returning there for Boxing Day shopping tomorrow sickens me. So does the thought of plowing through all the excess food and gifted goodies in my kitchen.

Boxing Day is so named because, for hundreds of years, those who had plenty would distribute their extra food and clothes to the poor. The idea of using this day for the prosperous to accumulate yet more, is relatively recent, a nightmare invented by retailers.

As I turn off the tree lights for the night, a thought comes to me. My local YMCA is collecting food for local shelters and the town food bank. I remember that late on Christmas Eve, I noticed that, though we are one of the wealthiest communities in the country, the box was only half-full. Tomorrow afternoon, Dec. 26, is the time scheduled for the box to be sent out. I can still make a difference!

I shrug off the fatigue I’ve been feeling from a day of too much food, too many gifts, and swing into action. I find a large box of my own, and fill it with tinned soups, stews and all my extra boxed cookies and chocolate. A clear recycling bag enables me to add the clothing I’ve received but don’t need.

I have a new plan for tomorrow now. I’m going to bypass the mall, drop off my donation, and offer to help distribute to the needy. As William Blake, the poetic conscience of the early Industrial Age, wrote:

“ You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.”

The light that wells up in me – Strategies for coping with S.A.D. this winter

After a day trapped in the city, its noise and shadow still closing in, I cut through rough country, to where still water hides. On the shore’s soft edge, I cross my legs and lean back into the hammock of my raised arms. So keenly the day distills into this small lake, I can barely contain the light that wells up inside me.

Did you know that our bodies read artificial light as darkness? I learned this as a teacher, watching students drowse beneath the brightest of fluorescents on the ceiling. Natural light is much more subtle, more susceptible to the kind of complex ‘reading’ a human body performs. As soon as I flicked the switches off, and lifted the blinds, the young people opened toward me, like flower-faces at dawn.

Early man did not just use light as a means to prolong work. He interpreted it to understand weather, and the changing seasons. His senses took from it complex clues, such as when plants would be ready to eat, and which sides of a ravine, chosen for shelter, would allow his children to grow and prosper. Far in the reaches of his brain, there turned rhythms. Light-sensitive, these led his body around the circle of a day toward the deep, ingrained marker where he would fall asleep.

The loss of Circadian rhythms is perhaps the single deepest felt loss our recent generations have sustained. Electricity has forced countless shift workers into poor health and prolonged mental confusion, as they struggle to overcome what the body knows. Tube lights notwithstanding, our inner self feels acute awareness of the dark, and the need to sleep. Beyond factories, many office workers are so strapped for time during the day, that we try to cheat our bodies with night-time chores, such as shopping. This turn forces retail workers into night work limbo. In Northern countries, higher proportions of us spend whole work-weeks without natural light than ever before.

Small wonder that many of us begin to feel ‘low’. When you have no sight of the sky, where will you find room to soar? I challenged myself with this question when, in my early thirties, I lost motivation as soon as daylight savings time ended. I had never heard of S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but my family doctor had no doubt that it was the cause of my listlessness and depression in late fall.

Strategies for coping with S.A.D.

Just the way you would move a houseplant to catch the sun, I began to seek ways into the light. Below I’ll share with you what worked for me.

1)I stopped taking the subway to work, walking blocks in pearly light to watch the morning rise.

2)I took in fresh air and outdoor light every lunchtime, nourishing all my senses, not just my tongue.

3)If winter days were short, I’d take an outdoor stroll or run near my work location, rather than sliding into the gym when I got home.

4)Most of all, I made a quest of each small park, ravine and body of water concealed within my urban environment. (Water reflects and magnifies light, so it can cause your eyes and spirit to lift on even the dullest day.)

5) Find a way to hold and cherish your moments of light, by drawing, word sketching, or even composing a song. (This piece was written by a hidden urban lake, in a small window of time.) Let’s return now to where that window opens…

Just before sunset, the lake lays down a path into the Milky Way, leads my eye down through the depths of clouds, toward planets submerged beyond.

At this moment, I glimpse why people immerse(baptise) to become holy –

Water is the closest sky.

Find Life Beyond Work in the New Year

Those who create are like you [God].

They long for the Eternal. -Rilke

Thinking of some New Year’s Resolutions this year? Consider not making any, except for one:

Live forever.

Stated simply, that’s the goal of every creative person — to make something that will outlast the moment, and transcend the repetition of ordinary, work-a-day life. It’s no accident that many of the world’s great artists and musicians have led exceptionally long lives. Beyond this, their creations have transcended time to enchant and inspire generations after them.

To live creatively in the coming year, I think it’s important to see the differences between a resolution and a goal.

Resolution	Goal
-an intention	– an action
– untimed	– linked to a schedule
– without a plan for measurement	– with feedback built in
– stated in vague, general terms	– written and noted in clear, specific language
– is my responsibility to meet alone	– draws on support from many different teachers, mentors and heroes

So how does “Live forever” become specific? It’s the difference between “doing something after work” and “practicing the saxophone for at least an hour every day (3 on weekends) so that I’ll be good enough to join a jazz band next September”.

I was once present at an interview with the hugely successful writer Nora Roberts. She described starting out as a busy mom, with only the kitchen table as her workspace. To beat the endless chores and distractions, she set a deadline every night. She strictly forbade herself to go to bed until she had met a certain number of words. And her page quotient went up every week!

Every night, Nora turned her table into a kind of altar to the writers she admired. She stacked her favourite books around her. She recorded and replayed radio and TV appearances by her favourite authors. When her kids were old enough to go to school, she took classes at a nearby college. There she learned about writers’ conferences, a way to get closer to her role models and to meet those who would one day publish her writing. When it came time to submit herself to the ordeal of rejection letters, she drew on her personal background of spirituality to keep faith in herself and keep creative.

“But I’m not good enough,” you may be thinking, or “I’m too old to start now.” The idea of rejection brings us to the red flag thought that stops so many of us from being creative: “What if I fail?”

In the Western world, many of us have been raised to think of success as a kind of reward program, usually measured by material gain. Yet there are many instances of people such as J. Randolph Hearst and Howard Hughes, who found that, the more they could accumulate in cash and objects, the less happiness and quality of life they could find.

To balance the material weight that seems to tip our life balance, many Westerners have come to consider the East. The Buddhist concept of “non-attachment” to an outcome allows believers to set goals, but to be flexible about how to achieve them. This simple shift widens the lens that can make a set-in-stone goal seem daunting. It puts the emphasis on life as process, the unique unfolding of an individual. For example, it can make a player like Sonny Rollins stop clearing the classical hurdles, and find a music of his own.

Hearing that jazz giant still play, well into his eighties, reminded me that living creatively means living longer. I also recently spent time seeing the works of Georgia O’Keefe, who only began painting very late in life. Upcoming in this space, we’ll be exploring the reasons why creativity is good for your health, including the concepts of stimulus, a proven way to prevent depression and flow, a mental state which enables time to be used for nourishment rather than fatigue.

Do you have a creative hobby that has made a difference in your life? Do you know a long-lived creative person whose story you’d like to share? This blog is open to comments and welcomes positive input. Can’t wait to hear from you!

Relearning Attention

This year, summer’s been so warm, and has lasted so long into autumn, that many of us are dazed. Winter and the fast pace of work are hitting us harder than ever before. At times like these, we are savaged by multiple attacks on our attention. The pace escalates, until we feel ragged, incapable of the true, deep concentration that lets us live as the creative people we are. When this feeling strikes, we can turn to great artists or writers to help us cleanse our tattered minds and relearn attention.

At night I gaze at you …

I waken new, newly clothed,

Washed by your hands, laundress…

Pablo Neruda, Nobel Laureate
from Ode to the Moon of the Sea

These lines leave me with a deep sense of calm. Yet Neruda’s life was almost constantly turbulent. He was often threatened with imprisonment, even death. A poet must find a quality of attention that goes deeper, sees further than ordinary life. For years I wondered how a political fugitive, an exile, could achieve this. Yet today we can identify with those on the run in a new way. As never before, social media and constant online availability threaten concentration, privacy and the ability to think as an individual. How one can relearn attention, and cleanse electronic or political waste from the mind? The answer has become vital. Below, I share some real life experiences, followed by Five Ways to Cleanse your Mind.

I believe that Neruda’s work can teach us much more than how to write well. As his relationships with government, high society and clergy shattered, he forged a new connection. In the quote above, he describes “being washed by your hands, laundress”. He is not writing about a woman. What sustains him is a profound relationship with the world around him. I believe that in the same way, focusing on Nature can restore our attention, can help our minds reclaim the territory we have lost.

If we recognize that the territory of our personal, thoughtful minds is being eroded, we can take steps for reclaiming this place.

For example, my very Internet-active daughter recently mentioned that she was taking a hiatus from social media. I was surprised, but know of several other people who are doing the same. Many are taking a month-long spiritual journey through the Camino area of Portugal, and cite Internet silence as one of their key reasons for choosing this (pilgrims in these remote mountains must adopt a state of non-connectivity). In Michael Harris’s recent book, The End of Absence, the author describes a similar experience. After noticing how brief and distracted his encounters with friends had become, he took a timed vow to switch off from constant online communication.

My own personal ‘media cleanse’ happened for similar reasons, but in a time before Facebook, Twitter et al. I was working in public relations for the government. Each day began with a flood of information. I had to read, watch or listen to every media item that involved my employer, a provincial ministry. At first, I found it exciting, but it was not long before I began to sense that attention is finite. It is a skill that becomes blunt, like a knife from overuse.

Gradually I noticed my brain closing up, a kind of defense mechanism in self-protection from the daily onslaught. Often, I had to address issues by writing a media release or a speech for the Minister. I found my responses began to yield less and less of my own thought and energy. They became minimal, rushed, rote reactions, like many of the tweets of today.

The deadening of my attentiveness slowly spread to affect all aspects of my life. I shut down, not just at the mind level, but emotionally and sensually as well. I stuck it out for financial reasons, but I was moving through my life like a non-participant. When I was finally declared surplus as part of a large job-cutting move, my attention span was almost non-existent.

It was like stepping off a treadmill. For the first time in 15 years, I had the freedom of my own mind. But what would I do with it? I could barely function.

My body was giving me the answer. I craved sleep and silence, the silence of the mind. I cancelled the TV subscription and stopped reading all but the shortest non-fiction pieces. I read Ted Hughes’ poem, Do not Pick up the Telephone, and unplugged mine.

As with any type of cleanse, I felt depleted. Yet one morning I woke up with a surge of energy, a powerful hunger for the world. I went out barefoot, because every pair of shoes I owned had heels too high for striding. No longer chained to a desk or screen, I wanted to know what was outside. To my amazement, everything was beautiful. I walked as far as I could, then came home to write what I’d felt.

Since then, I have begun every day the same way, except that I wear hiking boots now. Even in bad weather, I never regret the outing. It trains my eye for distance and stirs activity in my brain. I’m better able to drive, read, write and teach. I do use a cellphone and the Internet, but I take breaks at least every two hours to find silence (also to remember I have limbs to move!). My body led my mind out of the trap and I might need that kind of help again.

The blunting effect is not restricted to professions involving the media. Burnt-out young mothers and teachers need to remind their charges: “Stop calling my name all the time! You might wear it out.” Medics, lifeguards and first responders are plagued by time-consuming, often invalid demands. Unnecessary claims on our attention diminish us, and render us less effective.

Five Ways to Cleanse your Mind

1) Recognize that your mind is a territory, subject to invasion.

Be aware of the amount of time you spend “surfing the Net” and messaging.
Are these people important to you? Do you really want their beliefs to become your own?

2) Guard your personal thoughts as you would any money or property.

Start keeping a record of your own ideas and how much time you spend enhancing them.
Shift the balance of your time from downloading the opinions of others to creating your own response.

3) Recognize that emotion is a direct path to your brain. Don’t let others use it for contagion.

Every break counts. Try to stop the rush of outside thoughts whenever you can.
Make the most of down time, however short.

4) Claim your right to silence (and media silence), longer and more frequently.

Close doors on noisy roommates or texting-bullies.
Be selective about what enters your attention.

5) Find Nature wherever you can.

Live beings, even the presence of plants, can help us reclaim the original territory our minds have lost.
Work to balance the virtual environments you inhabit with genuine, live habitats and real people.

Overwhelmed by Back to Work and School? How to let your Energy Soar…

Now let us, like amorous birds of prey,

Rather at once our time devour

Than languish in his slow-chapt power …

Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still,

Yet we will make him run.

Andrew Marvell

Ever feel that life is passing you by?

Ever wonder why others seem to enjoy life and work more than you do?

To find out why, start by measuring your Energy IQ:

Self-Test: Find out your Energy IQ

On a scale of 1 for very low and 10 for the highest, use this very personal, informal quiz to rate yourself in the following areas:

Belief
I consider myself basically a high-energy person, based on my medical and family background.

Self-Awareness
I recognize that I, and no one else, have the most important role to play in raising my own energy level.

Pro-Active Mindset
Every morning I begin with a plan for how I will boost my energy at key points during the day.

Self Reliance
I’m not addicted to caffeine or any other drug. I know that true and lasting energy comes from a healthy body.

Health Knowledge
I know that what I eat and when I have it, will have a huge impact on my energy. I apply this information to every meal, drink and snack.

Habits
I don’t just dream about more energy, I have habits I follow regularly to keep it coming.

Mental Self-Healing
If I feel a bad vibe coming on alone, or with fellow-complainers, I put some distance between myself and the negativity. I know how to walk away, and open myself to developing a different mood, which won’t suppress my energy.

Finding Stimulus
When bad weather makes the whole world weigh heavy, I know how to lighten my spirit by using my senses—my eyes, ears, touch, scent— to stimulate energy. Taste is not the only power of sense I have!

Creativity
I know that if suppress my unique creative talents, I will reduce my energy in all areas. So, I make sure I often explore my talents, and allow my creative urges the scope to raise my energy overall.

Giving
I understand that Nature provides each creature with life for a purpose. I don’t hoard my energy, but look for ways to benefit the world.

Your Score out of 100:

Disappointed in how you rated yourself? Don’t let it suppress your energy. Check this space on a weekly basis, and you’ll soon find proven ways to raise your energy IQ in all of the above areas. If you’re a 9 or 10 at any of them, drop us a comment on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/thenaturespath/ and let us share your tips. Can’t wait to hear from you!

How to Love Your Coworkers

Love is something we give to those in our family, but seldom bring with us to work. Today I’m thinking how it would empower each of us if we were to see ourselves as bringers of love and reassurance to those we work with.

This is a positive shift, simply because it takes us out of a passive role (their victim) and into an active one (their helper). Secondly, our energy is freed to reach its full potential because we are concentrating on giving rather than withholding.

Acceptance is a healthy choice because it allows us to move forward, instead of waiting for others to change. If we choose to accept people as they are, and take that as our starting point, then we need not spend another day paralyzed by anger or fear. It doesn’t mean we stop wanting to move toward something new. It means instead that we stop struggling.

It is the belief that we must struggle that is the trap, not the situation itself.

Struggling is a reactive mode, one that assumes that we are governed by the power (or lack of power) of others. Sometimes a coworker, or someone instrumental to our life, holds us back simply because they aren’t a match for us in terms of ability. Because we don’t want to hurt their feelings, this can cause us to fall into the trap of “trying” to do what we want, instead of going ahead and doing it. In reality, we aren’t doing the mismatched person any favours. By holding ourselves back for them, we’re keeping everyone stuck.

Others only have power over us if we seek their approval. If we let ourselves act independently of our weak egos, we free up our energy further. We no longer have to spend hours of each day worrying about what others might think. We can concentrate on allowing our own talents to benefit the world.

I believe fully that each of us has unique talents and should let what Nature gave us shine out! Those who feel threatened by us, or who simply can’t keep up, feel so because their talents and background lie elsewhere. They belong where they are better matched.

The world will thrive far more if we each simply release our talents to express themselves. This way we attract others with similar strengths and enjoyments, and no one need feel that anyone else is their burden or the one who must continue to carry them.

How to Love your Work

Why is work so hard? Why do so few of us feel creative and fulfilled by what we must do?

I ask myself this every time it’s my turn to do the housework, and the rest of the family leaves the house. This morning I resolved to make everything spic and span, until I remembered how hot, angry and frustrated I became last time. I simply couldn’t step back into the picture of myself from my last turn, when the dog ran all over the house in muddy paws, and the mop broke into five pieces leaving me to scrub on bare knees.

As I sip the last of my morning tea, I come across these words from over five hundred years ago.

Your separation from God, from love, is the hardest work in this world. -Hafiz (The Gift, translated by D. Ladinsky)

Entitled “A Cushion for your Head”, this extract from a mystic Sufi piece caught and held my attention. A sudden insight made me recognize its relevance to my own problem. As long as my family was there, and with them, love, I could do even the dirtiest work without feeling resentful.

Most of us, as parents, can remember such examples. Often, a baby would throw up all over me, and the only effect would be to intensify the bliss of mother love. This kind of joy is not only restricted to work with family. Once, my three-month old son peed straight into a doctor’s ear, and the kind man just laughed.

Yet often while we’re working we feel bitter and resentful, divorced from the flow of love. Before parenthood, I worked as a civil servant in a building hidden from the public, where my office had no contact with those I was supposed to serve. For 15 years, my career seemed less and less meaningful until I finally quit. Yet my friend Penny, a social worker, had daily contact with people in trouble. Her work was much harder, and more challenging, yet she was motivated to continue many years longer.

As the above quote sums up, it’s not the work itself, but the “separation” that’s the problem. If we can overcome this feeling of isolation, we can energize our work and our lives. I am not writing to convince you to join any religious sect. In fact, I find this quote most helpful when I don’t interpret it as part of a formal, orthodox relationship with God. I believe Hafiz, a highly individualist Sufi prophet, who speaks with respect of Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed, is talking about God as the love that flows through us.

Creativity has become a bad word, especially among accountants, but one thing is evident whether God or Science is the Creator of our world:

Life, and our survival on this planet, relies on continued creativity. There are multiple ways this can happen. Yet if we believe in denial, if we cannot find any way to be creative, then we are working against life.

Three Ways to Make Work Easier

1) Stop calculating, and start feeling.

All of us know how it feels to become energized by the spirit of love, as we feel it for others. Pet therapy, for example, has helped many Seniors turn around from deathbed situations. No matter how small, how simple, the gift we give to the world, we are nourished by the giving of it.

When we are not giving, or not seeing the positive results of our giving, we shrivel up into a shell. Our only purpose becomes to protect ourselves, and the wealth we have accumulated. Yet those who calculate theirs among the highest riches are often the most miserly and lead the poorest lives. They become unable even to be generous to their loved ones, even themselves.

A close friend from a wealthy family wanted to play the guitar. His father, an accountant, insisted on a financial career. As my friend grew older and wiser, he saw how limiting his work with numbers was. He found a way to bridge toward another life. He volunteered to help musicians overcome their tax difficulties. In this way, he found friends who helped him enter a world where he has now found a balance between work and art.

2) Engage in an active, evolving spiritual relationship with the world.

When we allow ourselves to explore, rather than calculate spiritual gains as though they were money, we become true expressions of the divine. Jesus said: “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God.” He was a seeker all his life. He did not remain hidden in a cloister of rules. He worked among the common people, searching and finding new ways to bring divine love to them.

3) Let your Gift take on a momentum of its own.

Perhaps you have chosen unfulfilling work out of obedience to your parents, or the way you were brought up. Maybe it seems that denying your brightest talent in order just to serve time at work, is the way to show love to your own children.

Yet the Bible says “Do not hide your light under a bushel.” Even if we do not believe in God, it’s easy to see, as parents, that when we deny our talents, we are teaching our children to do the same.

My mother was a gifted painter, and my father was born with a superb singing voice. Yet they both abandoned these, and told us it was for our sake. All my life, especially when I see films of great sons of great fathers, like Mozart and Renoir, I wish that my parents has allowed their art to enter our lives even in a small way.

Why danger can be good for your child

…this danger

is danger of love, of complete love

toward all of life,

toward all lives

-Pablo Neruda (Nobel Laureate)

As parents, we want to keep our children safe. Perhaps no generation has been kept as withdrawn as the current one. Recent research shows that today‘s kids go outdoors 50 per cent less than we did at school age. That percentage is alarming enough in itself, but what if we multiply it by another generation or two? If reduction in nature activity continues at this rate, our long-term descendants might face life as prisoners of the indoors, in a world limited by the frame around their screen.

How has this reduction in physical play happened? One way is that when both parents are working full-time, there is no adult ‘safety anchor’ in the home to make free exploration viable. In many homes this translates into no outdoor play till Mom or Dad gets home. Yet by that time it’s often too dark and parents are too tired to take on anything active. So, like much of the school day, the entire after-school time is spent locked in a seat: a brief break for dinner, perhaps homework and then back to the gaming chair. We are keeping our children confined for most of their lives. But how safe, in truth, is this routine for them?

Because they are so inactive, our children’s generation is facing higher rates of obesity and related diseases then any before. Study after study shows them at an unprecedented risk. So how can a working parent support a child?

1) Trade the certain danger of being an inactive child for what I call the ‘beneficial dangers’ of getting out of a chair.

Examples of this:

Take a night hike with your child, wearing reflective clothing and headlamps to spot interesting nocturnal life.

Sign the whole family up for evenings at the local YMCA or Community Centre. Let each family member pick their favourite activity: from rock-climbing, to swimming, to Tai Kwon Do.

If transport is a problem, keep the exercise close to home with spot-lit trampoline in the backyard.

2) Plan to keep Nature a part of your family’s life (no matter the weather)

When snow lights up the evenings, build an ice rink for skating or simply release your family into the delights of forts, ice sculptures and snowballs. Walking with their parents round the neighbourhood will make them the first to spot changes such as a “haunted house” or Christmas lights!

Make simple purchases (such as cheap rubber boots and plastic capes) to ensure rain outings are possible. Buy these for yourself, too, and learn to enjoy the scent of fresh-washed air.

For times when going out simply won’t be possible, bring the wild to your home. Help your child plan, seed and grow an indoor garden. Consider getting at least one pet for your family. Skills like grooming, feeding and caring for a living creature enable your child to develop emotional intelligence and prepare for important life relationships.

3) Make balance, not indulgence, the first parenting principle for your child.

(Recognize that being responsive to your child doesn’t mean indulging every urge.)

Yes, your youngster will play with his iPad till he collapses at 3am, but he and his teachers will one day thank you for putting it away (and keeping it from him) much earlier. Bedtime stories are a good way to break the gaming cycle and ensure quality time for literacy and family bonds.

4) Limit the time your family members spend alone with devices.

Scheduling is probably the greatest challenge parents face today. So, become an expert at it. Set up regular routines so that it becomes easier to get your child away from a computer. If you just leave him to it, it’s obvious that he will have more and more trouble becoming engaged with other living beings. “Alone together” is a phrase without meaning. If each of you is pursuing a separate virtual world, there will be no togetherness.

5)Access the power of your child’s own creativity.

Be assured, your child’s natural imagination can be your strongest ally in overcoming a videogame obsession.

Plan special outings and new books from the library to read and act aloud, so that you’re offering something interesting as an alternate to technology. My son was spending four hours a night playing video games, till we asked him to act out his favourite books for us. Now it’s the first thing he asks to do when we get home. He gives readings while we do our evening chores, and keeps the family together and well-entertained!

Your input would be most welcome:

I’d love to hear your ideas for loving, non-punitive ways to pull a child back from the virtual towards the natural world. I’d also like to find out what you’d like to see in this space in the future. You can comment, make a request, or simply like us on Facebook.

Nine Ways to Balance your Life, Starting Today

What is life balance and why is it so important?

There’s a lot of talk about balance these days, probably because few of us feel that we’re reaching it. I learned my definition of life balance the hard way, which I’ll tell you about in a moment, but first let me share it with you:

Life Balance is not an accounting formula, a set of rules, or a place you arrive.

Life balance is a process of ongoing communication between all areas of your being: mind, body and spirit.

One cold March day in Toronto, Canada, I arrived at my office. It had been the usual 90 minute commute on bus, train and subway. My husband had dropped our daughter off at her home daycare, while my expectant body worked on nourishing our son, due in May. We had recently bought our first house, and I was vaguely hopeful that I could keep going at work until the last moment. Like many of us, I somehow believed I was indestructible. Yet now I was feeling a little strange… Maybe all I needed was to sit down, for the first time that day. Then something hit me hard, on the cheekbone, and everything went black.

What had knocked me out, I learned later at the hospital, was a cement floor, from my full standing height. It was one of many things I hadn’t seen coming. I hadn’t seen how, day by day, as my moving got slower, I had less time for the things I needed: rest, careful exercise, and the right foods. I hadn’t seen how I, after working as a trained communications expert for 15 years, had lost all communication with my own body. The precious burden I carried was now seriously at risk.

It was while shivering under a thin hospital blanket, not knowing whether or not I had lost my future son, that the first principle of Life Balance came to me:

Balance principle 1: Always focus on what’s most important.

You can imagine the tremendous remorse I felt when I realized that I had been ignoring my son’s needs. In my excitement to earn money to pay for a better home, for his future, I had actually forgotten what I owed him in the present moment. We were both fortunate to survive, and to have a lesson which has kept our life in balance ever since.

Maybe the title of this point seems overly simple to you. Of course we all want to emphasize what means the most – our health, our loved ones. Yet how many of us map out what’s important, and match it to a schedule of how we really spend our lives? I did, after I almost lost my baby, and it’s a process to which I return often.

2: Be aware of the choices you’re making. (Don’t let others profit by taking you off track.)

Advertising is one main reason we lose our focus and then our life balance. That beautiful home in the newspaper that we can’t quite afford might in truth be an ugly picture – one that shows us working far too many hours and disappointing those who need us.

In order to spend less time working, I’ve learned to avoid decisions other people would like me to make. I’ve stopped watching television and blocked ads on the Internet. I don’t go to stores as often as I used too. When I do shop, it’s with a written list and a time limit. If I browse, it’s online, and with a cool head comparing prices and value.

3: Be guided by your principles, not public opinion. (Balance is individual).

Recognize also that there is an inner kind of marketing, when ‘keeping up with the Jones’’ threatens to take over. Make a list of your family’s unique priorities, and the chances are ‘having a car as new as the neighbor’s’’ won’t even make it on.

4: Listen to your body. (Balance is natural.)

Our own bodies, which are equipped to self-heal, make energy from good food and respond to exercise, have never been so abused. The ‘brain work’ that most of us are now doing has trained us to ignore the body’s signals, even to treat it as separate from the mind. Heart disease and obesity are reaching closer each year toward us and our children. Most of the kids I teach at the school board prefer onscreen ‘brain play’ instead of the outdoors. Teach yourself and your offspring to care for their body. As for a loved pet.

5: Act, don’t just read, for health. (Research is not enough)

I teach a regular evening Wellness class at the local YMCA. When I ask people what they’re doing to keep well, most of them say: “a check-up every year and I read the Mayo Clinic website”. There’s nothing wrong with either of these, but both are passive. They are better than nothing, but neither show that the individual is taking charge of her health. She is leaving it in the hands of others. Nor do they show forward planning or adaptability. Life Balance is not a textbook formula or something you can rely on someone else to do for you.

This was identified by such great men as Thomas Edison, who said to his students, “I can teach you nothing”. There is a huge difference between just collecting information and true learning, where we make knowledge our own. Balance can only happen when we take the giant step of making good habits fit our schedule and thus change our own behaviour.

6:Avoid extremes.

It might seem obvious that extremes are the opposite of balance. Yet many of us, when we resolve to bring more balance into our lives, start with an extreme. Here are some examples from people in my area. They may seem familiar.

A woman who is just getting back into fitness classes after fifteen years, decides she will run a marathon, one week from today.

A man who has been prescribed daily heart medication abandons it in favour of an unregulated, unproven homeopathic remedy.

The problem that the above actions share is an ‘all or nothing’ attitude. Force is counterproductive. A body, like a human psyche, prefers its developing needs to be met in flexible, adaptive ways.

7:Plan for life as well as work.

Transfer the discipline and planning skills you use at work to strategize your workouts, nature moments and quality time with loved ones.

8: Connect with your true self every day.

By this self, I mean the being who is part of Nature’s unity. On this level, you are aware of yourself as a creature born with a wondrous body and abilities who deserves to live in health and wellbeing. As Deepak Chopra writes, “Spending time in Nature will give you access to the field of infinite creativity, freedom and bliss.” Find time to fit in a quiet walk every day of the year – before work, at lunch or on the way home as needed.

9: Put your health to good purpose.

We’ve all experienced the joy of giving, and the mutual wellbeing that results. Your health is also a gift you can allow to flow from you to benefit others. As psychotherapists like Dr. Frank Burns have documented, the momentum of taking action can carry you physically out of fear and moping toward strength and health.

Tag: life balance